Uncategorized / Writing 101, etc.

Dreaming, you and me

thewalkingpencil18 Comments

and i see your face reflected with the spectra of colours
on the bubbles, floating in rhythm with the sleeping me.
and you gently open my eyes with your warm breath,
to another brilliant day.
i’m flying with you. high above and beyond!
and there’s nothing in our way, one step to the
milky-way.
and then I
 
Slip. And I’m falling away,
 
Away from you.
 
I try holding on although my fingers are crying
And give away.
I see you darkening and fading, fading and greying
And ageing… like me.
I have sunk, drowning in breathlessness, forlorn,
Fallen to the ground.
 
That day I thought you died.
My beloved flying dream.
 
I thought you died, but when I opened my eyes
again, and let go off my tightly-clenched hand,
I saw a clover, soft and green, and four-leaved.
faith, hope, love, and luck
Your forever gift to me.

Day 7: Beloved

18 thoughts on “Dreaming, you and me”

  1. Oh, how vivid and powerful the images in your poem are! Beautiful, beautiful lines here:
    “I’m flying with you. high above and beyond!
    and there’s nothing in our way, one step to the
    milky-way.
    and then I

    Slip. And I’m falling away,

    Away from you.”

    Simply lovely!

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  2. Since I wrote something different about your poem on The Commons, I thought I’d quote it here as well:

    “Just read it, and was wowed by its delicate, soaring tone. A love poem, filled with ache and fear of loss, and then hope — so beautiful!”

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  3. Oh my goodness – your poem left me unable to breathe. I want to hear the backstory. So vivid. So real. When I read the first few lines, all was warm and fuzzy – I didn’t expect it to take the turn it did. Exactly how life is sometimes.

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    • Thank you so much for your very kind compliment – I even read that a few times over! And what do you mean specifically by backstory, since I can interpret that in diff ways.
      Also, I’d like to hear what you thought the poem was about before I tell you something that might influence your interpretation.

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      • By backstory – I am looking for your interpretation of the poem. To you – whose face do you see? Who/or what almost died? I think part of my love of this poem is the way it can be interpreted different ways. It spoke to me deeply because I lived my life in innocent bliss until one day my husband almost died. It was as sudden as the shift in your poem. He survived- but that day – that moment changed my view of life forever. I doubt your poem is about a person – because you say “My beloved flying dream.” Can’t wait to hear your thoughts.

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      • Oh, I understand now your journey links to my poem and why it brought out your emotions. It is brilliant that you now have deeper thoughts about life, because I think we all need it at some point. Thank you for sharing your interpretation too.

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      • And yes, I deliberately left the poem open to interpretation because I wanted to allow people who have had diff experiences of love to identify with it in their own way.
        And yes, it is about a child’s dream of flying and their journey. So for the falling part, I was imagining a child falling from the sky as they realise their dream is not as easily attainable.

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